Soulmate
by PandaPez
Summary: One- shot set during Post ME3, where Garrus struggles to move on. Spoilers? Shakarian


**A/N: So this based on a beautiful (and soul crushing) Shakarian comic of the same name by this amazing artist named Olivietta over on deviantart. You guys should definitely check out the original, because I totally didn't do it justice and the comic is absolutely gorgeous. I wish I could put the link here (apparently fanfiction doesn't allow that?) but the best I can do is say to just google 'Olivietta' on deviantart on you should be able to find her gallery pretty easy.**

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He didn't know how long he'd been standing there. A couple of minutes, maybe, or more. Perhaps even hours by now. Long enough at least that the rest of the crew had already trickled away. One by one they'd left, disappearing with soft murmurs and hesitant eyes as they passed him. A few had lingered, asking him if he'd needed anything, if there was anything they could do; even telling him they were there for him, that he wasn't alone in this.

They didn't know, of course – couldn't really – how long those very words had been echoing in his mind. How they had whispered at the back of his every thought, repeating over and over, and how each time they did his scarred mandible would flick out softly before he could stop it, reaching for a warmth that had somehow slipped away.

"_What's a soulmate?"_

_"A soulmate?"_

_"Yeah."_

_She shifts her head slightly against his shoulder, looking up at him through the delicate strands of hair framing her eyes. Lashes, he remembers as she blinks and sends them dancing. They're called lashes. "What, did your translator glitch out?"_

_He twirls a piece of her hair between his fingers, marveling at the texture. It's so soft and alien as it glides across his hide. Even after all these months together he's still fascinated by it. "No, but I'm not sure the word it used is right. Doesn't really seem to fit the mood." He flicks his head towards the vid splayed over the glass across from her bed, the one that usually showcases the collection of model ships she obsesses over. Her eyes glance back to the human couple on the screen._

_"What word did it use?" she asks as the couple embraces._

_He thinks, trying to find the right phrase. "It's close to the word we use for 'spouse', I guess. But since they're not married…" He trails off as a new idea comes to him and then leans his head forward for a better look. "Or wait, is this what a human wedding looks like?"_

_She chuckles, and the vibrations from her throat send a shiver through him. "Doing some more research, Garrus?"_

_He turns back to her and runs a talon softly across her scalp, his eyes narrowing gently as she shivers in response like she always does. "Maybe. Every bit helps with you humans."_

_She leans up and trails a kiss across his scarred mandible, bringing a flood of sensation to the numbed hide like only she can. "I'd say you're doing alright so far, Vakarian." she says lightly as she pulls away and sits up. His shoulder feels suddenly cold where her head was._

_"Glad to hear it." he says as he pulls her closer against his side. "But you didn't answer my question."_

_"Right." She pauses the vid and stares at the screen for a moment. Her eyes are distant as she thinks, but for once the thoughts don't seem to weigh her face down with their burdens. The lines that have creased her brow so often these days are almost invisible now as he stares at her, and a sudden tightness grips his throat. This damn war's killing her, he thinks, and then swallows the thought down almost as fast as it appeared._

_After all, it'd been his idea in the first place to have this night just for them – a 'movie night, Joker's vids had called it. One free of the deaths that number in the trillions, of the Reapers and the never ending destruction that follows them, of the fate of the galaxy that rests so heavily across her shoulders. This was their night, and, for once, he doesn't want to waste it by thinking about the harsh realities of their lives. So he chokes the images down, and focuses instead only on the warmth of her, on the softness of her stubborn skin and the smell of gun oil that clings to it like armor._

Garrus blinked, trying to swallow the memories down like he had then; instead, they almost seemed to catch in his throat, making it burn with every shallow breath he took. After a moment, he looked up slowly and stared at the memorial before him. His hand rose, hesitating over the letters.

_"It's like a best friend, but more."_

He let his hand fall, following it with his eyes.

"_It's one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else."_

Garrus breathed in deep, his body shuddering with the effort. And then,finally, he turned away.

_"It's someone who makes you a better person." She tilts her head, making her hair shimmer in the dim light. "Actually they don't make you a better person, you do that yourself." Her eyes find his and she gives him a quiet smile so beautiful it's almost deafening. "Because they inspire you."_

Each step was an eternity as Garrus walked down the familiar hallway, his feet uncertain now as they crossed over the broken pieces of something once whole.

_She rests her hand against his mandible, and he leans his head into the touch as she caresses his scars. "It's the person who knew you and accepted you, believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would."_

The battery door opened with a _screech_ as the twisted metal scraped against its frame. Garrus walked in, pausing before his workbench. For a moment he simply stood there. Then, carefully, he picked up the scarred red and black helmet before him.

"_No matter what happens, you'll always love them." she whispers, her breath warm against his face as she places her forehead against his._

He collapsed onto the nearby cot and cradled the helmet against his chest with one hand. His other rose and gripped tight against his face, where something cold and wet streaked across his hide.

_"Nothing can ever change that."_

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**A/N: Also, I wanted to upload something just so you guys wouldn't think I'd dropped off the face of the Earth or anything. I know I'm so crazy late on updating AtT, and I'm so sorry about that. But hopefully the new chapter will be finished and up sometime this week, and definitely by this weekend for sure. **


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